The Vow
by Bbolt14
Summary: Based off of the new movie/true story. What happens when a car accident makes you forget the last 7 years of your life?
1. Chapter 1

I finally saw the movie and had to do it. Chapter's should get longer.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle (sadly), nor do I own The Vow (but it's incredible and everyone should go see it/read the book).

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><p>"Oh I love the snow."<p>

"It is pretty beautiful, isn't it" Rick claimed, but his eyes never actually made it to the snow. He just stared lovingly at her.

Kate glanced up at him and smiled, bringing a hand up against his cheek. She loved everything about him, but especially his face. "You're too good to me, you know that, right?"

"You deserve it."

"Nonsense" she said before peppering kisses against his lips. "I love you."

"I love you more." Rick kissed her deeply, pulling her tightly against his warm chest.

Kate wrapped herself around him and tightened her fingers through his hair; her tongue finding it's way into his mouth. She reluctantly pulled away for air and smiled up at him, staring up at him with pure love and adoration.

"Oh I'm cold" she whispered, holding her hands out to him.

Rick collected both of her hands between his and pressed a kiss to her fingers, rubbing her hands until they were warmed up. The ritual looked subtle and cute to any couple passing by, but was a common occurrence between the two of them.

"We should probably get out of the middle of the street" he whispered against her lips, kissing her again.

"Probably." she said with a giggle before catching his lips for one more kiss. "Let's go home."

She had every part of him, every little detail, burned into her brain. His face, his chest, his arms, his lips. Each small detail of her husband is what made her wake up in the morning. She knew what made him laugh, what made him cry, and what made him scream her name. As well she should know everything about her husband of 3 years, partner of 5.

"Rick, stop!" she giggled, covering her blushing face from is awful singing. Sure, he could sing brilliantly, but whenever it came to mocking someone, he was terrible.

"I would do anything for love! But I won't do that" he belted out, smiling cheerily over at her.

"Meatloaf! Really…" she mumbled before laughing loudly.

"Oh, come on Kate. You can't tell me you love it."

"I love you. Not your singing, just you. Hey, you know what they say?" she asked softly, trailing her fingertips up his leg.

"What's that?" he asked, his foot tapping the break as he slid up to the stop sign.

"They say there's a 100% chance of getting pregnant if you have sex in a car."

"I- you… Oh I see" he said with a smirk as she undid her seatbelt.

Kate stretched across the console and pressed her lips tenderly to his, her hand resting on his upper thigh. Her lips moved slowly over his, her soft hand caressing his face all until…

The truck behind them never stopped.

The crash happened in a blink of an eye. One moment she was wrapping herself around him, engorged into another perfect kiss, the next flying through the windshield of their car.

For Rick, everything was moving in slow motion. She was breaking their kiss off for air when a screeching sound appeared and she was gone.

"Katie!"

He watched in shock as his wife flew through the windshield of their car before everything around him swarmed into black.

Rick woke up, groggy, staring up at the bright lights.

"Where is my wife?"

"Mr. Castle, we need you to relax please. You've experienced a significant amount of trauma from the car accident so please, just lay back."

"No. I'm fine" he retaliated, sitting up in the bed. "Where is my wife? Where's Kate?"

"Mr. Castle, your wife experienced significant brain damage from the accident. Due to the extensive swelling in her brain, our neurosurgeon decided to keep her in a comatose state until we are sure of the damage."

"I need to see her. I need my wife."

The nurses escorted him into her room and his jaw dropped at the sight.

There were cuts across her face, the biggest one stretching through her eyebrow on her forehead. She looked so small and tired, and it broke his heart watch her in pain.

Rick pulled a chair over and sat next to her bed, collecting her small hand between his two large hands.

"Please Kate" he whispered into her palms, sighing heavily. "I love you so, so very much."

A week later, the doctors informed Rick that it was finally time to wake Kate up. The swelling in her brain decreased significantly and she was healthy enough to wake up.

Rick stood in the hospital room with the neurosurgeon, holding in air as Kate's eyes fluttered.

"Katie…"

"Mr. Castle, you need to let her do this on her own. Your wife is going to be groggy."

"Ow…" Kate mumbled, her face clenching in pain. "Where am I?"

"Kate, you're in the hospital. You were in a serious car accident and suffered brain damage."

"Everything hurts."

"I know. I'll go get you something for that."

Kate stared up at Rick and tilted her head slightly before opening her mouth up to speak again. "Doctor, was anyone else hurt?"

Rick's face went from hopeful to hurt in a matter of seconds. "Katie… You do remember me, right?"

"Wait. Aren't you my doctor?"


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter! Hope you all enjoy it. Thank you so much for the reactions to the first chapter. I love reviews, so keep them coming.

Also, no one reads these before they're published, and I am not a professional writer, so there could be mistakes. If so, please let me know and I fix them in further chapters.

PS- I changed it from 5 years to 7 years to try and make more of a reasonable timeline.

Dislaimer: I don't own Castle or The Vow.

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><p>Rick looked quickly from the doctor, back to Kate and shook his head. "Katie, I'm your husband."<p>

Her eyes widened in shock as she looked at the doctor for reassurance, who nodded.

Rick moved and sat in the chair he's placed nest to her bed, reaching out for her.

"I'll leave you two alone" the doctor mumbled, leaving the hospital room quickly.

"Husband?" Kate choked out, staring at him in complete disbelief.

"We've been married for 3 years, together for 4, friend for 5. I work with you at the precinct. Don't you remember any of this?"

Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as Kate shook her head frantically. "Ow… No, I- I don't know you. Please just, give me a minute, okay?"

Rick nodded solemnly and reached out to touch her hand.

She cowered toward the other side of the bed quickly and glared over at him. "No, please. And stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm dying. Just, go. Please. Give me a minute" she pleaded.

"Okay. If you need anything, I- I'll be in the hall."

Once he left, Kate stared at the door in shock. Her hands clenched onto the bed sheets and she bit her trembling bottom lip before letting out a strangled sob. "Oh god. I'm married" she whimpered as she cried.

Rick stood outside the door waiting all until he heard her cry. He could recognize the sound of her crying from anywhere. He knew his wife and loved every part of her, and it practically killed him to hear her in pain. His hand reached out for the doorknob but hesitated. She needed space. Waking up from a coma with no recollection of the last 7 years of your life implied a much needed space.

He heard her struggled cry again and decided to walk. If he crowded her, she would only run further, so his natural thought was to move around and keep himself occupied until she was ready to let him in. Rick walked over to the vending machine a few feet from her door and hesitated.

He didn't know what to do. Everything for the last 5 years of his life involved having her there, in his arms, sharing her unconditional love with him. It didn't feel right not holding her, not squeezing her in his arms, not kissing her until her knees grew weak.

"God dammit!" he screamed, his voice ringing out through the halls. He slammed his fist into the side of the vending machine before he slid down the wall. His head fell onto his knees and he sighed heavily, a single tear escaping down his cheek.

"I just want my wife back" he whispered to no one, his fists clenching tightly onto his pants.

An hour later, Rick walked back into his wife's room. She had stopped crying and was lying in her bed, staring out the window.

"Hey" he said quietly, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hi."

"How do you feel?"

"A little better I suppose. The doctor gave me more medicine so my head doesn't hurt as bad anymore. Are… are you okay?" Kate asked, rolling over to look at him.

Rick stepped closer to the bed and slumped down in the chair against the wall. "Yeah, I feel fine. So… you really don't remember anything?"

"Not a lick."

"Well, what do you know about yourself?"

"Well, let's see. I'm Katherine Elizabeth Beckett, born November 17th 1979. My dad is Jim Beckett and my Mom is Johanna Beckett. No siblings, a few cousins, but not many. I studied law at Stanford University until my… oh." She fell silent for a moment before speaking again. "Until my mom died. I just dropped out of Stanford and moved back home… I signed up for the police academy. I'm a beat cop. Right?"

Rick shook his head and looked at her. "You're a detective now. You work at the 12th precinct. You really don't remember any of this?"

"Not really. What… I don't know what to do. Look, I'm really tired. C-can you just go?"

"Of course. I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Goodnight Rick" Kate said quietly, shifting in her hospital bed, her eyes never leaving him.

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

The next day, Rick walked into the hospital as soon as visitors were allowed. He held a bouquet of her favorite flowers in his hand, her favorite coffee in the other. After the day of pure hell yesterday, he figured that what she needed was something better than finding out you don't remember the last 7 years of your life.

He walked into what was supposed to be her room and froze.

The bed was made.

She was gone.

Rick ran from the room and to the reception desk. "My wife. Where is my wife?"

"Name?" the woman asked, her eyes never leaving the computer screen.

"Katherine Castle."

"She got moved upstairs to the VIP wing. Go up the elevator, third door on your left."

"Okay, thank you."

Rick escaped upstairs and went into her room, shock hitting him in the chest.

"Oh god" he mumbled, opening the door.

Three pairs of eyes were staring at him. Two lost in confusion, one tired and scared.

"Who are you?" the man in the room asked.

"I'm Rick Castle, her husband. Who are you?"

"Wait" Kate intercepted. "You don't know my parents? Oh boy, this just keep's getting better."


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter! Updates normally aren't this rapid, but I've been avoiding my laundry and writing instead.

As I said before, no one reads this before it's published, so if anyone notices mistakes let me know.

Disclaimer: Neither are mine.

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><p>Kate sighed and let her head fall into her hands. "Well then. Rick, this is my father Jim, and my stepmother Mary. Dad, Mary, this is my husband, Rick Castle."<p>

"The writer?" Mary spoke up, tilting her head at him.

"Yes ma'am."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Castle" she said, shaking his hand.

Silence took over the room again as they all avoiding the looks of one another.

Kate coughed a little and then looked up at her father. "Can you guys step out for a minute? I really need to talk to Rick" she asked, smiling up at him.

"Of course sweetie" he said. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and walked out of the room, glaring at Rick as he did so.

Once they were gone, Kate's eyes widened at him as she threw her arms up. "You don't know my parents?" she yelled, her head falling back against the pillow.

"No! I mean, I know of them, but we've never actually met."

"Why in the world haven't you met my parents? I mean, they're my parents for Christ sake! Shouldn't they have been at the wedding?"

Rick sighed and shook his head. "You don't talk to them anymore. Why are they here?"

"Because they're the only people I'm sure of. I mean, you seem like a wonderful guy and all but I honestly don't remember you. I mean, how can I actually know we're married? There's nothing but this ring, which could be given to me by anyone. I just wanted to be sure of something, and they were it. Please don't be upset" she said, noticing the look on his face.

"Oh god no. Katie, I could never be upset with you. I'm just, shocked, that's all. You've only ever talked bad on your family; so seeing them in a room with you is a bit of a smack in the face. I'm not mad, I swear."

Kate sighed and nodded at him. "I can see where that would bother someone. I'm sorry, this is really difficult for me to take in."

"I know" he said quickly. "I- um… I've brought you some coffee. And flowers. Figured you were probably tired of the terrible brew here, so… It's a skim latte with two pumps sugar free vanilla."

"My favorite" she intercepted, and he nodded. "They want me to go with them, back to… well, not Manhattan."

"Please don't" he said quickly, looking up at her. "Come stay with me. The doctor said that if you get back into your normal routine, then maybe you'd begin remembering everything. If you go with then, you might not ever get your memory back. Just come with me."

"Rick, I don't know if I can. I mean, I really don't know you. They're the only people I feel comfortable with."

"What if I prove to you that we're married? Not just a ring, or the fact that I've showed up here every day since the accident. Something more… concrete" he asked.

She looked up at his pleading face and contemplated it for a moment. "Well… I suppose so. If you can bring something to me by tomorrow, proving that I do love you the way I say I do, then I'll go with you."

A smile lit up his once heartbroken face as he fumbled with the flowers in his hands. "Really?" he asked in disbelief.

"Really. Now, go. Before I change my mind." She smiled up at him and snuggled back into the hospital bed.

Rick set the flowers in her lap before pressing a quick kiss to her cheek, smiling. "Thank you" he whispered in her ear, running out of the room.

Kate smiled softly and pressed her fingertips to where he kissed her cheek.

"Hmm. Maybe I do love him" she muttered softly to herself.

Her parents came back into the room after Rick ran out quickly. Kim stared at his daughter and shook his head, obviously angry with her.

"You got married!" he yelled, making Kate wince.

"Please don't yell. I guess I did. I have a ring, and he's going to prove it, so yeah. I'm married."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't know" she said, tears pooling her eyes once again. "I have no idea. I don't remember anything from the last 7 years. I just… I want to get out of here. I want to go home."

"Then come with us."

"No!" Rick yelled as he burst back through the door. He panted as he clutch the picture in his hand. "I had this in my car. Look at this first. Please" he said, handing the photo to her.

It was them, gazing lovingly up at one another on their wedding day. His arms were wrapped securely around her waist, hers around his shoulders. The way they were looking at one another symbolized their pure, true love.

"If that isn't proof, then I don't know what is. I do know that I love you more than life itself. I want to shout it from the rooftops. I've been in love with you for 5 long years Katherine Elizabeth Beckett Castle, and this accident isn't going to mess that up. Just, please come with me. Give it a shot. Give us another shot. I promise, if you want to leave, you can. But I'm not going to promise that I wont follow you to hell and back trying to help you love me again."

Kate stared at him, completely astonished. "I… okay."

"What!" Her father exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air.

"Really?" Rick said, smiling happily. "You mean it?"

"I mean it. If I'm looking at you like that, then you've obviously done something right over the years. What right do I have to break this up over some dumb accident."

Kate looked over at her father and smiled. "Dad, I'll be fine, okay? I've apparently been married to him for 3 years. He's taken care of me for that long; you can trust him to do it now. If it get's bad, I'll call you. Okay?"

Jim glared at Rick before looking back at his daughter. "I swear Katie…"

"Dad, I'll be fine. Just, trust me." Kate looked up at him and smiled.

Jim grabbed Rick's upper arm and looked him directly in the eyes. "You hurt my daughter, you're done" he growled before taking Mary's hand and leaving the hospital room.

Kate sighed and closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head. "Sorry about him. It's just… with Mom and all, he's really overprotective."

Rick shook his head. "No, I get it. I promise. So… you ready to go home? I brought you some clothes."

She looked around the hospital room and smiled a little, nodding. "Yeah, let's go."

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><p>I know that she should be in the hospital longer and all with head trauma, but I really wanted to get them out of the hospital so... Yeah.<p>

Please review! Thank you all for your response to this story.

~Brandi


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the next chapter! The reaction to this story is great. Thank you all so much.

One thing, I usually don't update this quickly but i've had off school with the weekend and all, and this story keep running through my head. I don't normally put up 4 chapters in 2 days. There may/will most likely be another chapter today.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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><p>Kate settled back in the car and stared out the window, clutching the photo of them to her chest. "So… what year is it?"<p>

"2012" he said, turning down the radio some.

"And you said that I made Detective?"

"Yeah. Youngest female to ever make detective in the NYPD."

"So…" she thought, putting things together in her head. "You and I have been married for 3 years?"

"Yeah" Rick nodded. "We met back in September of 2007. Started officially dating in September of 2008, married on April 26th, 2009, and we've been married for the last 3 years."

"We moved quit" she commented, running her hands up and down her thighs.

"We were in love. Still are, though you don't remember" he shrugged.

Kate pulled her knees up to her chest and sighed, setting her cheek on her knees, looking at him. "Where do we live?"

"Soho."

Her eyes widened and she nodded. "Soho. Wow. That's… expensive."

"Yeah" he chuckled. "You don't remember that either. We're rich."

"Like, how rich?" she asked.

"Very rich. I'm a best selling crime novelist. We have, well, a lot of money."

"That's helpful" she shrugs, smiling. "Have I read your books?"

"All of them. That reminds me… so this doesn't come as a shock to you… We have a daughter" he said, flinching away from her reaction.

"I have a kid!" she screams, beginning to breathe heavily. "I had a kid and I don't remember?" Tears pooled in her eyes once again, though she quickly brushed them away.

"No. No no no. It's not like that. Technically, she's your daughter because you adopted her when we got married. She's biologically my daughter, from another marriage. I'd been married twice before I met you. Our daughter, Alexis, is from the first marriage" he quickly explained. "Oh, please don't cry again."

Kate quickly shook her head and wiped her eyes. "No, I'm fine. It just comes as a shock when you think you birthed a child and have no recollection of it. So, she's not biologically my daughter but…"

"She call's you mom. Has since we stared dating. Her relationship with her mother is… estranged, to be polite about it. So when you came into our lives, you and Alexis bonded immediately."

Kate sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "So, does Alexis… know? About me?"

"About the accident? Yes, and all of the side effects. She wasn't coming to the hospital because the doctor warned me that throwing every aspect of your life at you right when you woke up was a bad idea. After that, we just decided that you could be introduced when you came home."

Kate nodded, taking everything in. "I'm going to have to start writing all of this down. So, how old is she?"

"17."

"So, a teenage daughter. Wow" she sighed, looking out the window.

The two sat in awkward silence for another few minutes before Rick pulled up outside the building.

"Well, here we are" he claimed, unbuckling his seatbelt. "She's going to hug you, when we get in there. Just to forewarn you. We're a really big hugging family. My mother will be in there too. She comes and goes as she pleases, but has stayed here with Alexis while we were at the hospital."

She undid her seat belt and sighed, turning to look at him. "I'm nervous" she whispered quietly, her voice sounding like that of a frightened kid. "What if… I'm being ridiculous, but what if they're mad?"

Rick reached out and took her hands into his, pressing a soft kiss to her palm. "They won't be mad at you Kate. I promise that. They're just as scared as we are about you not remembering, but they understand everything. I promise, they are the furthest from mad that you can get. Don't worry. And besides, if it's all too overwhelming, you can go to our room and cool off."

She shook her head as tears began to fall. "God, I don't cry like this. Ever. I hate crying" she mumbled, lying her forehead against their joined hands. Kate wasn't going to lie. She felt a complete connection with him, more than she'd felt with anyone else. It just scared her to no end that she could ruin this if she never got her memory back.

"It's okay" he whispered. He pressed a soft kiss to her hands once again, squeezing them in his hands. "I promise, we're going to get through this. Whatever you need, I'm there for you. Okay?"

"Okay" she whispered softly. Her eyes met his and for a brief moment, she felt the sense that this had always been there. Their love for one another would always overcome whatever obstacles were placed in their way.

Kate leaned up and pressed a soft, subtle kiss to his cheek before retreating quickly. "Can we go inside now?" she asked quietly, looking up at him.

He had a smile spread across his face and nodded, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. "Yeah, let's go in."

The two climbed out of the car and Rick grabbed Kate's bag from the back. She looked around the neighborhood and apartment building, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Wow, you really do have a lot of money" she commented, her right hand trailing over the granite walls of the lobby.

"We're definitely not feeling bad."

They stepped onto the elevator and leaned back up against the wall, staring up at the numbers.

Rick hesitated a moment before reaching out and linking his hand with hers, squeezing gently. "It's going to be alright."

"I hope so" Kate said quietly, squeezing his hand.

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><p>I really didn't know whether I should keep AlexisMartha in, but I decided to because they're so important in the show. Thanks for everything! Please review.

~Brandi


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the next part! Warning: there are like, 3 curse words in this chapter? So, if that poses as an issue, sorry. I'll change the rating if people want.

Chapters should be posted daily/every other day from now on. No more 3 chapters in a 24 hour period, unless I get way to into writing again.

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><p>The minute they walked into the loft, Alexis threw herself at Kate, wrapping her arms quickly around her.<p>

"Mom! Oh I'm so happy to see you" she whispered, tears falling from her eyes into Kate's shirt.

Kate wrapped her arms around the crying teen and squeezed tightly. "Please don't cry" she whispered into Alexis' hair, running her hands up and down her back soothingly. Though she felt she didn't know what to do, the motherly acts of comforting her came naturally and she thought nothing about them.

After a few moments, Alexis pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Oh god, you don't remember me, and I just did that. I- um-"

"You're fine Alexis" Kate interjected. "It's true, I don't remember you, but I don't want you to be upset, okay? Your dad and I talked and we're working through this… as a family."

Alexis nodded and hugged Kate again, burying her face into the woman's shoulder. "I was so afraid I'd lose you" she said quietly.

Kate looked worriedly up at Rick, who shook his head. "Just let her" he mouthed. "I'll leave you girls alone. I'm going to find Mother." He dropped Kate's bags on the couch and walked upstairs, leaving Kate and Alexis alone in the foyer.

Alexis' tears seeped through Kate's shirt, which caused the confused Detective to cry as well. "Please don't cry Alexis. I'll get my memory back soon. I promise" she whispered, tugging the teen tighter toward her chest. "It's going to be okay."

Alexis pulled back some and shook her head, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. "Mom, what if you never get your memory back? What if it's all gone?" she asked quietly.

"Don't think like that" Kate quickly said, running her hand through Alexis' long hair. "It's going to be alright. We'll be fine. My memory will come back soon enough. Okay?" she asked. Without thinking, she pressed a small kiss to Alexis' forehead and pulled her in for another hug. "I promise kiddo, I'm not going anywhere."

They stood together for a moment before Alexis finally slipped out of Kate's arms and wiped her eyes. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" Kate asked, running her hand through her hair. "Tired and scared."

Alexis took Kate's hand and led her to the couch. They both curled up before Kate began talking again.

"I want to remember everything, I really do. I saw the picture your Dad had of the wedding so I know there's something there, I just can't figure out how to find it. Everything from the accident is completely gone." She sighed and pressed her palms to her forehead, closing her eyes for a moment.

Alexis opened her mouth to speak when Martha and Rick came down the steps.

"Oh Darling!" Martha exclaimed, walking swiftly to Kate's side. She sat on the edge of the couch and wrapped her arms around Kate's torso, giving her a squeeze. "Do you feel alright?"

"I've been better" Kate said quietly, hugging the older woman.

"God, you had us all worried the last few days. But, you're here now" she said smiling, running a hand over Kate's cheek.

Kate leaned into her touch and smiled, biting her lower lip to keep from crying once again. The unconditional love from a Mother was something Kate hadn't felt since her own mom's death, and it was something she'd been longing for years. She paused for a moment before smiling up at Martha. "I'm sorry" she whispered quietly, biting more on her trembling bottom lip. She felt like a sad little kid all over again.

"Oh kiddo" Martha began, throwing her arms around Kate and hugging her tightly. "It's alright."

Kate smiled and nodded, slipping out of Martha's grip. "If you'll all excuse me, I just… I need a minute." She stood up quickly and ran toward the office. On her way, she grabbed Rick's hand and pulled him along with her. The minute they were out of sight and sound of Martha and Alexis, she broke down and trembled, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Kate" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "Why are you crying again? I thought you were okay?"

"Did you see their faces? Alexis' face! That poor girl is heartbroken and it's all my fault!" she cried, wiping her eyes with her hand. "Dammit, I hate crying" she mumbled, covering her face. "I don't cry! I never cry. This dumb wall prevents me from crying or showing human emotions. That's why the wall is there!" Kate yelled, collapsing down onto the chair in the office. "I just want to remember…"

"You will" he said, kneeling down in front of her. "Look, stay in here for a while, okay? Tomorrow we'll work at your memory. Tonight, you just need to rest. I'll order some pizza, the girls can stay out there, and you can relax. No one want's to hurt you Kate."

"You're too nice to me. I wouldn't be this nice to me if I were in your spot."

"You would too and you know it" he said, kissing her hands. "The Kate Beckett I fell in love with would do anything for anyone, and she hasn't changed one bit. I know you just as well as you know yourself, and I'm willing to help you with anything. Whether it's tying your shoes to taking you every place we've ever been. I'll do it. So tell me, what do you want? Right now?"

"My memory" she mumbled, looking up at him, a smirk on her face.

"Smartass" he whispered, leaning up to kiss her cheek again.

"I know." She stopped a moment before leaning in, pressing her lips very gently to his. It was like they weren't even kissing, just sitting there. A moment later, Kate leaned more forward and kissed him a little harder, bringing a hand up to stroke the back of his neck.

Rick pulled from her and clenched his face, sighing softly.

"I was hoping that would work" she mumbled, kissing him softly again.

"I'm guessing it didn't?"

"Not a lick. But, you are a good kisser" she smiled and ran her thumb over his cheek gently.

"I've been told" he smiled, placing his hands on her knees.

"So" he started, standing up in front of her. "Do you want to hang out in here tonight?"

Kate stood in front of him and shook her head. "Nope. I'm determined to get my memory back, and sitting in here isn't going to help with that. Let's get out there and do this."

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><p>So, I know Beckett seems a little OOC, but you've gotta remember, i'm portraying it as before we knew her. So, she could have been like this. We'll never know.<p>

And also, this part strayed away from the movie line a little, but next chapter should throw things back into place.

Thank you all for reading the story! It means a lot to me. Next chapter will be up in a day's time. Please review!

~Brandi


	6. Chapter 6

I am SO sorry this took so long for me to update! Things have been crazy, and i've spent most days and nights at the karate school i'm at, so computer time has been limited. I make no promises, but i'll try and have another chapter up by Monday.

This is a re-upload because I messed up and accidentally put Jim at the wedding, and thank you to xoxEmma8Dxox for pointing it out. Thats what happens when you write at 1 in the morning after a 2 hour nerf gun battle.

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><p>The night ended soon enough with Alexis falling asleep on the couch, Kate sleeping in an oversized chair, and Rick asleep on the floor. He woke first at midnight, stretching and groaning on the floor.<p>

"Damn" he moaned, sitting up and looking around the dark loft. He looked from Alexis to Kate and smiled, forgetting just for a moment the dreaded events of the previous days. Rick sighed and stood up, looking down at his sleeping daughter. "Time for bed you" he whispered, shaking her softly.

"Mmm, Dad" Alexis mumbled, reaching out to grip her father's wrist. "I'm sleepy."

"I know pumpkin" he whispered to her. "Let's go up to bed." Rick put one of Alexis arms around his shoulders and scooped his daughter up into his arms, carrying her up to her bedroom.

After he set her down and tucked her in, he kissed her forehead.

"Love you Daddy" Alexis whispered, rolling onto her side and falling soundly asleep once again.

Rick smiled as he walked toward the door. "Love you too kid." He shut her down and walked downstairs, his eyes settling on his sleeping wife.

She looked so peaceful and adorable, and all he wanted to do was kiss her senseless.

He walked to her and scooped her up into his arms, not bothering to wake her up. She's had an incredibly long week and needed as much sleep as possible.

"Mmm" Kate grumbled in her sleep, nuzzling her face into his shoulder, her body curling securely in the feel of his arms. "Ishtired" she muttered out, mostly unintelligible.

"Well then let's get you to bed" Rick whispered, pressing a gentle kiss in her hair.

Kate sighed happily and snuggled up to him, whimpering at the loss as he laid her down in her bed.

"See you in the morning Kate" Rick whispered, pulling the covers over her. She snuggled into the bed and fell asleep, her eyes closing quickly.

"_Alright you two, time for the vows." _

_Kate smiled brightly at her fiancé, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. _

"_Stop it" Rick whispered to her, chuckling quietly. _

"_Stop what?" _

"_Being so damn beautiful." _

"_Hey now lovebirds, we need to get this show on the road. Who wants to go first?" Gates questioned. _

"_Me" they both chimed in, initiating another giggle from them both. _

_Ryan and Jenny stood next to Rick and laughed. "Never heard Beckett giggle. It's kind of weird" he whispered to Esposito. _

"_Right!" He replied, squeezing Lanie's hand. _

_The wedding was small, and their own version of official, seeing as Gate's got her marriage license just for the occasion. She'd finally warmed up to the idea of their relationship moving to the next level, and was practically thrilled that they asked her to certify the marriage. However, due to the… odd circumstances of the wedding, it seemed fit. _

_Their wedding wasn't traditional. Kate wore white, and Rick wore a tuxedo, but that was as traditional as they were getting, seeing as, the wedding was being held in the New York Public Library. _

_All against the knowledge of the library itself. _

_Kate was worried they'd get into trouble, but when there's four of New York's finest surrounding you, most say you can get away with a lot. _

_Their small wedding consisted of Lanie and Esposito, Ryan and Jenny, Alexis and her new boyfriend Brad, and Martha._

_It was intimate, family oriented, and all she'd ever wanted. _

"_I'll go first" Kate said, smiling as Lanie handed the folded up paper to her. She switched it for the bouquet and turned back to Rick, unfolding the paper. _

"_Did you write your vows on a Remy's menu?" _

"_Hey, you of all people should know that when inspiration strikes, you have to make due." Kate smiled and finished unfolding her menu, taking a deep breath before beginning. _

"_I love you, more than life itself. You're my partner, my best friend, my absolute everything. From the tears, to the coffee, to the laser tag battles in the living room, being with you these last 3 years have made me happier than I've been in a very long time. You're my one and done, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you for always being you." _

_Rick grabbed her by the waist and tugged her to him, quickly kissing her. _

"_Hey now!" Gates intercepted, pulling the two away from one another. "Save it Castle. We've only got a few minutes before security comes by." _

_He smiled and let her go, his eyes returning back to normal from their previously dark state. _

"_Mine's not as good as yours, but here goes nothing." He pulled out a Remy's menu and shot her one of his award winning smiles. _

"_I guess great minds think alike. Katherine Beckett, you're perfect. From the moment I laid eyes on you on that rooftop back that first time you tried to pin me for murder, I knew you were the woman of my dreams, and I was right. I'm crazy about you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives figuring one another out, because we both know that this is only the beginning. And, no matter what obstacles we come up against, because god knows that we've been through hell and back, we will always find our way back to one another. I love you." _

_Tears welled up in the corner of Kate's eyes and she looked quickly at Gates. _

"_Let's finish this because I want to kiss him." _

_Gates smiled and nodded to Lanie, who gave Kate her bouquet back. _

"_Do you Richard Castle take Katherine Beckett to be your-"_

"_I do."_

"_And do you Katherine Beckett take Richard Cast-"_

"_I do." _

_Gates chuckled and smiled at the two. "By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." _

_Rick grabbed Kate's hips and tugged her to him, his lips just pressing hers when Espo caught sight of the security guards moving toward them. _

"_Shit! Run!" _

_As the party ran out, Rick and Kate twined their fingers together and ran straight for the exit. Security backed off once the group was out of the building, but they kept running until they were in the center of Bryant Park. _

_Rick wrapped his arms around Kate and pulled her in for a passionate, breathtaking kiss. _

_She wrapped her arms securely around his neck and kissed him back just as passionately, pouring all of her love for the man into just one kiss. _

Kate woke and shot up in the bed, sweat traces softly visible on her brow line, as she took a deep breath.

Every part of her dream felt so real and perfect, but still made absolutely no sense to her. She knew from some of the things he and Alexis went over with her that night made sense, and fit her perfect, it just still baffled her that she couldn't remember anything about how she got to that point of loving him.

She just knew that she did.

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><p>Did you all like the wedding? I know nothing about actual vows, seeing as i'm a teenager and not married, so I hope my winging it worked for you all.<p>

Please review! It means a lot to me. Thanks everyone!

~Brandi


	7. Chapter 7

I'm so sorry this took so long! I've been having some personal issues and needed to get through those before I was allowed to write anything. I'm going to try and get another chapter up soon because I just can't stop writing, but I wanted to publish this for you all. Thank you for being patient with me, and i'll try and update faster.

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><p>Kate slipped out of the comfortable bed and walked out of the room, rubbing her eyes. The dream freaked her out. Everything just seemed so real, and she didn't know what to make of it.<p>

She walked into the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine, stretching as she began looking around the kitchen, trying to find where everything was. She made her cup of coffee and walked around, looking at the books and knick-knacks, when she heard a loud grunt come from behind her.

Kate turned quickly and practically spit out her coffee, biting her bottom lip to suppress her giggles, trying to not wake the half naked man sleeping on the couch.

His shirt was no where to be found, and the blanket he was using hung low on his hips, covering him up, a small sliver of his shorts showing under the blanket. He grunted again and rolled to his side, his muscular arms wrapping around his pillow to tug it back under his head.

She bit her bottom lip and watched him sleep, something she would have found incredibly creepy if she'd woken up to it. Kate was about to escape back into his room when she heard Alexis walking around upstairs.

"Oh god" Kate muttered, her eyes flashing from the half naked writer on the couch back to the stairs with the approaching teen. As a teenager, Kate would have been absolutely mortified to find her father, shirtless, asleep on the couch, so she decided to prevent an innocent Alexis from the same trauma. She tugged the blanket up on Rick and covered him up. She walked quickly into the kitchen and sipped her coffee, sitting awkwardly as Alexis came down the steps.

"Hey" the teen said tiredly, pouring a cup of coffee.

"Hey kiddo. How'd you sleep?" Kate asked softly.

"Good. You?"

"Good actually. I had a weird dream, but I think that's just a part of this whole head trauma thing. Can I ask you something?" she asked shyly. Kate wanted to know if her dream was real or just her imagination.

"Yeah, of course" Alexis said happily. "What's up?"

"Your Dad and I's wedding… what was that like?"

"Just like the two of you."

Kate looked at her, puzzled.

"I was eccentric, to say the least. You guys got married in the library, because of your mutual love for reading. It was really beautiful, actually. Captain Gates married you, and we all kind of gathered around. The best part was probably the security though. I mean, I've never seen Dad run that fast. It was hilarious. Then we all went back to the Old Haunt and threw a huge party." Alexis smiled at the memories and sipped her coffee again. "Why do you ask?"

"I dreamt about it about it last night, actually. So maybe my memory is coming back." Kate glanced up at the clock and shook her head.

"Hey now, don't you have to go to school?"

"We're still on winter break, but I am volunteering with Paige today, so I've got to head out to the shelter." She threw her arms around Kate in a tight hug, smiling widely.

"I love you Mom" she whispered, tightening the hug.

"I love you too kid."

About an hour later, Kate was in the bedroom reading. She had all of Rick's books neatly stacked next to the bed, and was planning on clearing through them for a little to see if anything would trigger. As she read, she heard the door open and watched Rick walk into the room, still obviously mostly asleep.

When he walked in, he simply shrugged off his shorts, giving the detective a full view of his firm ass.

"Oh god" Kate exclaimed, hiding her face behind the book.

Rick quickly spun and looked at her, his face bright red. "Oh, hey" he said shyly, grabbing a shirt from the drawer to hide himself. "Sorry, it's um… habit."

"It's okay!" Kate claimed from behind the book, still not looking at him. "Are you covered yet?"

"Hold on, let me grab some clothes and I'll go in the bathroom." He did so and yelled when it was safe for her to look.

She smiled brightly, a deep red blush rising from her neck to her cheeks as she giggled, averting her attention back to his books.

Rick emerged from the bathroom 20 minutes later, showered and fully clothed. "Morning beautiful" he said, sitting next to her on the bed. "What do you have there?"

"You of all people should know" Kate said, turning the book to him so he could see the title.

"Ahh, _In Hail of Bullets_. What I wouldn't give to read books again for the very first time."

She glared at him, and he shook his head.

"I mean, why you can't read them is… you just… I'm digging a hole aren't I?"

"A little Castle. I know what you mean. So, what's on your schedule for the day?"

"Well" he began, shying away from her a little. "I did have a meeting with my publisher at Black Pawn today, but if you need me to stay and help you out, I will. I don't mind."

Kate closed his book and shook her head, turning to him and smiling. "No, go work. I'm actually going to go out and maybe go to the precinct? See if being there helps with anything, and see what's going on with my job."

Rick looked at her a little worried, but nodded. "Okay, well, your phone is out there on the counter. It has my number, Alexis' and mother's if you need us at all. Sound good?"

"Castle, I'm fine" she said, startling herself at how she called him Castle again. "Do I normally do that?"

"Do what?"

"Call you by our last name."

"Oh, that. Yeah, since we met actually. You've never really called me Rick until we were engaged. But you still call me Castle a lot. And I call you either Kate, Katie, Katherine, Beckett, or McSexy-pants."

At the last name her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, causing him to laugh hysterically.

"Just kidding. But, your reaction was priceless." Rick leaned over and pressed a small kiss to her cheek, smiling. "Alright, I've got to head out. Are you sure you're alright with being here alone?"

"I promise, I'll be fine. I'm a big girl. I zip up my own boots and everything. Now, shoo."

After he left, Kate decided to get cleaned up and leave. She stepped into the bathroom and, realized that she hadn't gotten a good look at herself with the experience of the memory loss. There wasn't a mirror in the hospital, and she hadn't changed her clothes since she got back to the loft. She felt a little smaller, but still strong as she'd always ben, and definitely still a badass.

Kate unzipped her pants and slid them off, still ignoring her reflection in the mirror. She then removed her shirt before turning and looking.

Shock hit her in the chest as her entire gaze focused between her breasts. Her fingers came up and traced the round scar, her hands trembling. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes as she shook her head, biting her bottom lip.

"What did I get myself into?" she whispered quietly, her fingertips grazing over the bullet mark. Kate turned a little and saw the scar running up her side, her other hand now moving to trace that. Tears slowly slipped down her cheeks as she stared at herself in the mirror, slowly feeling less powerful, and more like the scared teen she was when she lost her Mom.

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><p>I know, I know. But, I had to do it. I really had trouble writing this last part because I have issues with writing sad Beckett, but it needed to be done. You don't just get shot and not have a reaction to the scars, especially when you forgot.<p>

Thanks for reading and please review!

~Brandi


	8. Chapter 8

Two chapters in couple hour period. See, told you all i'd update.

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><p>After she collected herself and got changed, she left the loft, breathing in the New York air that only a local could love. A smile warmed her face as she tugged her scarf up around her neck and walked down the street, taking in her surroundings. After a long walk, Kate ended up standing outside of the 12th precinct, her hands shoved in her pockets, staring at the large building in front of her. She dug up the courage and stepped inside, being greeted by a loud, cheerful voice.<p>

"Detective Beckett!" The man boomed, giving her a huge smile. "How are you feeling, kid? Heard you had quite an accident."

Kate stood in front of him, her eyes wide with fear. "I- Um-" she stuttered, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but… from the accident, I don't really remember anything, or anyone. So, I don't actually know who you are. I'm so sorry" she finished quietly, feeling ashamed.

"Nonsense kid, you're fine. I'm Harry Tillman. I've known you for about, lets see… 5 years now? Since that writer came around. Everyone upstairs will be thrilled that you're here. Still remember what floor homicide's on?"

"4, right?"

"You got it. Head on up; I'll phone the boys and tell them that you're here."

"Thanks" Kate said with a smile, stepping onto the elevator and hitting the button. She rode up to homicide floor and walked out, smiling a little. It felt comfortable being there, and was the only place she'd been so far that really felt like home.

"Beckett!" Espo called from his desk, standing up to go to her.

"Hey. Um, Esposito, right?" she asked.

"Yeah" he nodded, patting her on the back. "You don't remember much?"

"Honestly, I recognize you training, and that's about it. I'm guessing that you're one of the boys that Tillman called when I was on the elevator."

"That's me and Ryan" he said, pointing to the Irishman in the break room. "We all work together now. It's me, you, Ryan and Castle, but he's in and out, and then Lanie Parish in the ME on our cases. So how ya feel?"

"Better, actually. I had a dream about the wedding last night, so hopefully some of my memory is coming back." As she spoke, Ryan came out of the break room and smiled at her.

"Becks! You're here. How you feeling?"

"Hey, um…" she trailed off, looking up. "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."

"Ryan" he said, holding his hand out to shake hers.

Kate smiled and shook his hand. "I feel bad that I don't remember anything. But, you guys were in the dream I had last night, about the wedding, so I'm getting better."

"That's good" they both chimed.

Kate talked with them about work for a while before a woman walked in. The boys eye's widened and they both turned back to the murder board to make it look like they were working.

"Who's that?" Kate asked, watching the woman focus on the files in her hand and not at her surrounds.

"That's Gates" Esposito said, and the woman turned her head at the sound of her name.

"Talking about me Esposito?" she asked, walking up to the three.

"No sir, just making things a little clear for Detective Beckett."

Gates turned her head, startled at the sight of Kate standing in front of her. "Beckett, you're here. Why are you here? You got into a car accident. Good golly, my office, now."

"Yes sir" Kate said, turning back to the boys, who were wide-eyed and as confused as she was. She shrugged at the pair and followed Gate's into the captain's office.

"Sit" she instructed to Kate, shutting the door before residing at the chair behind the desk.

"Sir" Kate interjected as she sat down. "I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm at a point where I need introductions with everyone I meet. I don't remember much of anything for the last 7 years, so I honestly don't know who you are. The last I remember, this was Captain Montgomery's office and I was a beat cop."

"Well, I'll help you out. I'm Victoria Gates, and I'm captain now. I don't feel comfortable telling you why, so you're going to have to ask your husband about that. Okay?"

Kate nodded, her hands fiddling with the ends of her scarf, a common act she did when she was nervous.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, honestly tell me; how are you?"

"Annoyed" Kate said quietly. "I'm just sick of not remembering anything. It's difficult, knowing that I have this whole life here and I have no recollection of it."

"What do you think is going to help that?"

"Anything, really. I had a dream about Castle and I's wedding last night, so the memories are there. I just need to keep working at it."

She talked to Gate's a while before leaving to go back to the loft. Her time at the precinct was well spent, and though she didn't get any more memories, she still felt more at home around the people at the precinct.

When she returned to the loft, Kate settled back on the couch with Rick's book in her hands. No one was due home for a few hours, but she didn't want to go anywhere and get more confused. It had been an incredibly long day, and she was still trying to adjust to the scars on her body, as well as the disappearance of Montgomery that no one at the 12th seemed to want to talk about.

She got through more of the book when Rick came home, bustling through the door, smiling wide.

"Hey there" she said, her nose in the intriguing book. "This one's really good" Kate smiled, holding up _In Hail of Bullets._ "You're an incredible writer, you know that?"

"I've been told once or twice." Rick sat down next to her on the couch and peeked over to see where she was at in the novel. "How was your day?"

"About that" she replied, closing the book. "I need your help with something."

"Shoot."

"Something to do with that" she said quietly, before pulling her shirt over her head.

"Whoa Kate, what are you doing?" He asked, turning his head away. He knew with what he'd done this morning, she would probably find it embarrassing if he was watching her.

"What happened?" she asked.

Rick looked up at her from the sound of her voice. She sounded different. No longer was she portrayed as this strong, independent woman, but she sounded more like a lost child. Her fingertips were tracing the outline of the bullet hole scar on her chest, and she was trembling again.

"You got shot."

"I know that! But, how?"

He sighed and moved closer, taking her hands in his. Her current dress was pushed back in his mind, and he focused on looking straight into Kate's eyes as he began the story.

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><p>Yes the story will be in the next chapter. I want to write out Kate's reactions, but I like keeping my chapters around 1000 words so I decided to save it for next chapter. Let me know what you think!<p>

~Brandi


	9. Chapter 9

I am so sorry! I didn't mean for this update to take this long, but this last week has been really bad for me. This chapter is a little off from the movie and more on the show, and I did change some timeline stuff, but hopefully you'll like it.

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><p>"We began to investigate your moms case back when I began to shadow you. I realized with my money, some questions could be answered, so they were. We learned that a professional killer killed your mom. That opened up a huge scandal revolving on what your Mom knew. The more we investigate, the more dangerous it became. We did find the man who initially killed her though."<p>

"Who was that?"

"Dick Coonan" he said, squeezing her hands in his.

"What happened to him?"

"You shot him in the precinct. He had a gun to my side and you were trying to protect me."

A small tear slid down her cheek and he wiped it away quickly. "Kate, I don't have to tell you-"

"Yes you do" she interjected. "Keep going Rick. I want to know."

"After that, we shut up the case. You were hurt mentally, and I didn't want to jeopardize anything between us. But things opened back up when John Raglan called you."

"Raglan? But he was the-"

"The detective that called you about your mom the first night. I know. He had some more information to give you on the case, but when you and I went to talk to him, he was killed."

"R-raglan is gone too? Oh god…"

"Yeah sweetie. A lot of people are gone, so this is going to be hard to hear. Are you sure you want me to continue?"

"Yes" she whispered quietly. "I need to know about my past."

"You found Hal Lockwood, who is the next higher up in the list of people linked to your Mom. After a few grueling cases…" Rick started, and he choked up.

"Please Rick" she muttered softly, squeezing his hand.

"Roy was connected to the case. It's a long, complicated story, and I have all of the papers still if you want to read about it, but I feel like all of it would be too overwhelming for you. You got a phone call and went to an airplane hangar. Roy was there, and he was luring Lockwood and his boys to the hangar with you. I came in and got you out of there, and by the time we went back inside, it was too late."

"No" Kate choked out, shaking her head quickly. "No, no, no, no."

"I'm sorry Kate. He killed Lockwood and Lockwood killed him."

She shook her head and began to cry, her hands trembling in his.

Rick took her into his arms and held her as she cried over the loss of her boss and mentor. "Shh… It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"K-keep going. Please, what else happened" she said brokenly, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

He ran his hand up and down her back and continued telling her their past. "At the funeral, you were giving a speech. There was a small flash, and you got shot. I tackled you, and you were with me for a little. I told you I loved you, and you passed out."

"When was this?"

"Two years ago. Captain Gate's came in and started working with you all."

Kate shook her head and nuzzled against him, tears seeping into his shirt. "I can't do this. Rick, why?"

"I know Kate, I know. It doesn't make sense. And it isn't fair that you have to live through this all over again." He ran his hand up and down her back, pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head. "It's okay" he whispered soothingly.

"Is it over?" she asked.

"Yes, it's over. We arrested the man at the top of the case after you recovered."

"Who was it?"

"The Senator. He was the highest up in the ranks of the connection to your Mom's case. It was hard, but you arrested him and we came home."

"Was I alright?"

"Do you really want to know?" he asked, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"No" she said, shaking her head. "Not really."

After a couple moments of silence, Kate slid out of her arms, fixed her hair, and ran her hands over her face. "Wow" she whispered quietly, laying her head in her hands. "That is a lot to take in."

"Yeah" he said, kissing her cheek. "Want me to make you some dinner?"

She nodded, watching him as he got up. "Wait, I want to help you. Please, let me help. I need to do something" she said as she pulled her shirt back on.

"Okay" he said, helping her up. When he pulled her up, she landed in his arms and smiled up at him.

"Hey Rick" she said quietly, running her hand over his chest. "Thank you, for telling me that. And for dealing with me through this."

"Kate, I love you. So, it isn't dealing with you. Its being there for you, through thick and thin."

She leaned up and kissed him quietly, running her fingertips over his cheek. "You're awesome. You know that?"

"I've been told once or twice." He smiled at her and slid his hands down her arms. "Come on Kate" he said, leading her toward the kitchen. "Let's eat."

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><p>I'll update more and get back on track with the movie plot. Thanks!<p>

~Brandi


	10. Chapter 10

I am so sorry! Here's the next chapter. I would have updated sooner but I've come down with that terrible stomach virus that's going around my town and the time I spent awake was not spend well. Hope you enjoy the next installment! I also upped the rating because there are two subtle cuss words, but I have the mouth of a construction worker and it's getting difficult keeping the language down.

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><p>The next morning, Kate woke up on the couch, with Ricks arms wrapped around her waist. She was with her back against his chest, her hair falling down in her face, his strong arms keeping her pinned against him.<p>

"Rick" Kate whispered, pulling her against his chest more. "Don't get up yet" he said against her neck.

She shifted against him and sighed, running her hand over his arm. "Rick, get up" she said quietly. She tried to move his arm but he pulled her in tighter and pressed a kiss to her neck. She sighed and snuggled against him before realizing what was going on, shaking her head quickly. "Rick" she said, this time with more authority, before pulling herself out of his arms.

Rick woke at the loss of contact and his eyes widened in shock. "Kate… I- I'm so sorry" he stammered, running his hands through his hair. "I didn't mean to… We didn't… Did we?"

"No" she said, shaking her head. "You and I fell asleep last night after dinner. We were watching a movie."

"Oh yeah" he claimed, leaning back on the couch. "You're probably freaked out, aren't you."

"Not too much" she said, plopping down next to him. "Laying with you felt… right. If that makes any sense."

"It does" he nodded.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" she asked, looking over at him.

"I have another meeting at Black Pawn this morning, but after that my day's open. Want to do something?"

"I'd like that" she said quietly, smiling at him.

An hour later, Rick left for his meeting, and Kate took a shower. When she was done, she settled back on the couch with his book in her hands. A few chapters later, she began looking around the loft, getting distracted by everything he had. It was truly overwhelming the amount of things he had in the loft, from lazer tag guns to toy helicopters.

Her eyes fell on a post-it note with her name on it, and she got up and walked over.

_**Kate, **_

_**I figured this might answer some questions you had the other day.**_

_**Alexis**_

Kate smiled and picked up the DVD, slipping it into the box before settling back down on the couch. She hit play and her voice came through the speakers.

"_Richard Castle, you are such an ass!" she yelled through the door. The camera was focused on her in a white dress with her hair half pinned up. _

"_Kate, stop moving. Writer boy can wait." Lanie grumbled through the bobby pins she had clenched between her teeth. _

"_Aww come on Kate! You know you want to…" he teased through the locked door. _

_She picked up her shoe brush and chucked it at the door. "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't want to marry you. But I swear to god Castle, I'll make you wait another month if you don't get your ass to the library." _

"_Enough said. Love you!" he called out before running away. _

_Kate looked at the camera, which was being held by a laughing Alexis, and rolled her eyes. "How in the world did you put up with that your entire life?" she asked. _

"_He's sweet. Sometimes…" _

_The camera switched to a scene of the wedding, exactly as Kate had pictured it in her dreams. The two were smiling at each other as Gate's spoke, as if nothing in the world could ever break them apart. _

_Kate pulled out her Remy's menu and smiled. _

"_I love you, more than life itself. You're my partner, my best friend, my absolute everything. From the tears, to the coffee, to the laser tag battles in the living room, being with you these last 3 years have made me happier than I've been in a very long time. You're my one and done, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you for always being you." _

_Rick pulled his out as well, flashed a smile, spoke about something, and read his vows. _

"_I guess great minds think alike. Katherine Beckett, you're perfect. From the moment I laid eyes on you on that rooftop back that first time you tried to pin me for murder, I knew you were the woman of my dreams, and I was right. I'm crazy about you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives figuring one another out, because we both know that this is only the beginning. And, no matter what obstacles we come up against, because god knows that we've been through hell and back, we will always find our way back to one another. I love you." _

Tears pooled in Kate's eyes as she watched her and Rick run through Bryant Park before he dipped her and kissed her passionately, like something straight out of a movie.

She collapsed back on the couch and began sobbing, an overwhelming swarm of emotions taking her over.

She felt terrible about everything. The car accident, losing her memory, forgetting that she ever loved him…

It pained her to think that she may never get those memories back.

"Oh god" Kate cried out, clutching her knees to her chest as she sobbed. "I- I can't do this. I can't hurt him." she cried, scrambling quickly off the couch. She grabbed her phone and her jacket before running out the door.

"I've got to get out of here."


	11. Chapter 11

Here ya go! Next part. Thank you for all of the reviews after the last chapter. Glad to know people are reading, and also glad you all didn't kill me with that cliffhanger.

Props to Miniwriter305 for the idea/figuring out what I was planning. I love the song you sent me as well!

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><p>Her feet pounded against the pavement as she ran, the wind whipping her long brown hair behind her. Tears poured down her face and she lost her breath and sat on a bench in the middle of Central Park and cried.<p>

"What did I do?" she cried to herself, shaking her head as she her face between her knees.

Kate cried for a few minutes before pulling her phone out and dialing the only number she knew by heart.

"Daddy?"

Jim Beckett pulled up in his car and climbed out, rushing to his daughter's side. She had stopped crying, but looked distraught and broken, sitting on the bench all alone.

"Katie" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her in close. "What happened?"

"I- I-" she stammered, shaking her head against his shoulder. "I miss Mom."

"Oh honey" he cooed, kissing his daughters head, holding her close. "I miss her too. Every day."

"This isn't fair. I want my memory back. I want my life back."

"I know you do Katie, I know you do. Here, let's go home" he said, helping her up and walking to the car.

Rick came home from work with a smile on his face. Black Pawn had just agreed to another Nikki Heat book, after the first 5th book had been so successful. He wanted to celebrate with his family. Take everyone out for an extravagant dinner, and then kidnap Kate for a night on the town, to get her mind off of everything.

"Kate! I'm home!" He called out, dropping his keys on the counter and shucking his jacket onto the chair.

No response.

"Kate?"

He was again, met by silence. Worry over took him as he ran through the apartment, calling out her name.

"Kate?"

"Katherine?"

"Kate?"

"Beckett!"

Nothing.

"Shit" he grumbled, collapsing on the couch.

Rick looked up at the paused television screen he had ignored while looking for Kate and saw that she was watching their wedding. The screen had been paused when he was kissing her in Bryant Park, and he knew the image had probably scared her.

He pulled his phone out and dialed her number first.

No answer.

"Double shit" he grumbled as he dialed his daughter's number. After a few rings, she picked up.

"Hey Dad, what's going on?"

"Hey kid. Have to talked to Kate?"

"Not since I said bye this morning when you two were snuggled up on the couch. How did that happen, by the way?"

"I- I'll explain later. So, you haven't talked to her?"

"No. Dad, whats wrong?"

"She isn't at the apartment, and she isn't answering her phone. I shouldn't worry, but I don't know. I just feel like something is wrong. Try calling her for me, okay?"

"Will do Dad. Hey, everything will be all right. Okay? Love you"

"Okay. Love you too" he said before hanging up the phone. He dialed Kate's number again but still no answer. Her whereabouts were beginning to worry him; through he was trying to keep his cool.

Finally, after hours of calling her and every one else they knew, her picture finally popped up on his caller ID.

"Hey" she said quietly.

"Kate! Oh, thank God you're all right. Where are you?"

"I- um… I went to my Dad's. I watched the tape Rick. I saw it, everything we had… The love we had… I- I can't put you through the pain of me never remembering. I can't do that to you."

"Kate, you know I don't care. Well, that's not the right thing to say. I DO care if you get your memory back, because yes, I would love for you to remember everything we've had over the last 5 years. But Kate, I love you; memory or not. Please Kate, come on and trust me. We can get through this."

"Rick… No. I can't put you or Alexis or Martha through that pain."

"We'll make new memories. We can rebuild everything."

"I'm sorry" she whispered, and the line went dead.

Rick fell back onto the couch and tears pooled in his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head, trying to fight back the crying. His daughter would be home from school any minute, and she couldn't see him like this. Not after everything their family had been through.

He couldn't let her see him so broken.

Alexis walked in seconds later and saw him on the couch.

"Dad! Hey, did you find Kate?"

Rick nodded solemnly, avoiding looking at her.

"Good! Oh god, that's great. Where is she? I want to tell her about school" Alexis asked, looking around the loft.

"She isn't here" he replied quietly.

"What do you mean? I thought you said you found her." Alexis sat next to him and tucked her legs under her, leaning back against the armrest, watching him.

"She went to her dads. She, uh, saw the video of the wedding and decided that she should leave now before she hurt us even more. You know, if she never regained any memory."

Alexis' eyes widened and tears began to fall. "Oh, no no no no no" she repeated, shaking her head. "What did I do…"

"You didn't do anything. What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I was the one who gave her the video. She dreamt about the wedding the other night and asked me, so I gave it to her before I left. Figured it may answer any questions she had that I couldn't answer. Oh God, you left because of me. Oh no."

Rick grabbed his shaking daughters arms and steadied her, shaking his head. "Lex, you didn't do anything. She's just freaked out, okay? We need to give her some time."

Alexis nodded. "I just feel really bad."

"Don't" he said, kissing her forehead. "You want to do something tonight?"

"I- I was supposed to go to Paige's house and study, but…"

"Go. Have fun with your friends. I need to write some more anyway. I got signed to a new book, so I've got some work to do."

Alexis smiled and hugged him tightly. "Congrats Dad. I'm so proud of you."

He smiled and hugged her back, his eyes closing as he fought back tears again. "I'm proud of you too kiddo. You're amazing."

She smiled warmly and slipped out of his arms. "I'm heading out. Love you."

"Love you too Lex."

Once she left, Alexis got outside and hailed a cab. Normally, she would walk to Paige's house because it was only a few blocks away, but she had other obligations. She pulled her phone out and dialed a number she knew could help.

"Hey Lanie? It's Alexis. Yeah, I'm great. Hey, I was wondering… Do you know Jim Beckett's address?"


	12. Chapter 12

I know that I am a terrible updater. I don't care if that isn't a word. I am making it one. Let me just tell you all, I am SOOO sorry! I really didn't mean to not update, it's just this entire chapter was difficult for me to write.

We get to see The Limey tonight! Yay!

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><p>Alexis stood at the door and stared at the numbers she had written on her paper, glancing back and forth from the wall to the paper to make sure she was correct. She waited hesitantly before tapping on the door lightly, taking a step back to wait and see if anyone would answer.<p>

After a moment, Jim Beckett answered the door. "Hello there. Can I help you?" he asked.

Alexis' eyes widened and she nodded. "Yes please Mr. Beckett. I am Alexis Castle. Your daughter is my mother. Well, stepmother, in the states eyes. But she's a mother to me. And, my dad and I… Well…. We don't do well without her. She's apart of our family, and she's my mom. And I love her. I just… I was wondering, you know…. Could I see her? Just for a few minutes."

Jim began to shake his head. "I'm sorry Miss. Castle. My daughter is extremely fragile-" he began, but stopped when he felt a shaky hand on his shoulder.

Mary smiled and pulled the door open some more, coming face to face with Alexis. "She's upstairs. Second door on the right. Be careful though Alexis, she's still upset."

Alexis smiled and slipped past a glaring Jim Beckett. "Thank you Mrs. Beckett. I promise if it becomes too much I'll leave. I just need my mom back."

She went upstairs and knocked on the door softly, rocking back and forth on her heels to wait for her to answer.

"Come in" Kate said quietly.

Alexis walked in and saw Kate curled up on the bed. Her head was tucked into the pillow and there were tissues strewn about on the bed. Alexis could tell that she was truly upset by everything that had happened.

"Hey mo- Kate. Y-you alright?"

Kate's head shot up and she wiped her eyes quickly, nodding. "Alexis! What're you doing here? I'm great. W-why aren't you at home?"

"I was worried. Please don't leave because I gave you that video. I was only trying to help you. Try to bring back some of your memories. I didn't want you to leave" Alexis whispered, leaning against the wall.

Kate sat up and sighed and sat up in her bed, leaning against the headboard. "Come sit" she said quietly, running her fingers through her hair.

She went over and sat on the bed, twirling the paper in her hands. "I'm so sorry" Alexis choked out before tears pooled in her eyes.

"Lex…" Kate whispered, reaching over and pulling the now crying Alexis into her arms. She ran her hand through her hair and soothed her, pressing a motherly kiss into her hair. "Don't cry Lex. This wasn't your fault. I don't want to hurt you and your dad if I never get my memory back."

"But you won't!" She cried, laying her head on Kate's lap. "If you leave now, we'll be hurt more. Dad isn't himself without you. He hasn't been since the day he met you. You complete him… You complete our family. It's weird without you. Even if we were only there for a few minutes. It's just, really odd without having you there."

"Alexis" Kate said quietly, running her fingers through her hair. "I don't want to hurt you all. Being here, with my Dad and Mary, it's what's best."

"No it isn't. The doctor said that you need to be with your family, and we are your family. I'm your daughter and this is the first time I am ever meeting your Dad. What does that say?"

"It says something happened, and I don't know what. I need to start over and find out what happened in my life before I met you guys. I need this Lex."

"You need to be at home." She sat up and ran her hands over her face. "Please, Mom. Please come home. To me, and Dad, and Grams. To the loft. Please" she begged.

Kate sighed and looked at her daughter, who was truly upset. "If I come home, I need space. I might just up and leave sometimes. To see more of what happened here. I want to know why I left. I need to know what happened Alexis."

"But you can figure that out at home."

"Not right now. I need time. Alexis, you know I love you and your dad, right?" she asked, collecting Alexis, who'd begun crying again, into her arms."

"Yeah" she murmured, her face in Kate's shoulder. "But…"

"No buts. I love you more than anything. I need to do this, so I can know why I love you and your dad. Not that anything I'll learn will ever change that, but I need to know what caused me to find your wonderful family. Okay?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "So does that mean you aren't coming back home with me?"

"Not tonight Alexis. I can't go back and see your father so… however he is reacting. I think that I would make everything worse than I already have." Kate leaned down and kissed her head. "I am so sorry Alexis."

"It's okay Mom. I get it, I do. I just… I guess I just want you to come home soon. Being there without you, even on nights where you're just sleeping at work, are difficult. Dad isn't the same without you there. So, just, please get better soon." Alexis sat up and wrapped her arms around Kate's neck, pulling her in and squeezing her tightly in a hug.

"I love you Alexis."

"I love you too Mom."


	13. Chapter 13

New chapter! See, I can update quick... Sometimes. Hope you all enjoy.

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><p>Kate woke the next morning with her arms wrapped around a pillow, her hair ruffled against the sheets, her clothes from the day before still on her body. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. She and Alexis had talked for another hour after their hug, but only about school and other things that girls talk about. Alexis left to go to Paige's and had been asleep ever since.<p>

After her shower and some breakfast, she went for a walk through the city. She told her stepmother it was to clear her head, told her father that it was to find a decent cup of coffee, and told herself that she just needed to get out.

But she really didn't know where she was going or what she was doing. She just needed to go.

Kate ended up standing in front of Barnes and Noble. She had gotten her coffee at Starbucks, and then just kept walking. She thought of everything she could remember about her childhood; every happy memory of her life, and every painful memory of her mother's death. She didn't know what was happening in her head, but she knew that it hurt her heart.

With a heavy sigh, she walked into the comfortable bookshop and sat in a large chair, her head falling back against the cushion. She sat still for a moment, embracing the quiet, before she heard her name being called out.

"Kate? Kate Beckett is that you?"

Kate sat up and looked over her shoulder, a smile falling on her face.

"Maddie? What are you doing here?"

"Me? Look at you, ya skinny bitch! Not that you haven't always been but damn! You're here! What brings you back to this neck of the woods?"

She sat up and a smile warmed over her face. The same smile that came about when her father asked if she was okay, or her stepmother asked if she was feeling any better; that same old fake smile. "It's…. a long story."

"Wait… I heard someone mention you were back around here. You're the one who got into the accident, weren't you?"

"That'd be me."

"So you don't remember the last 5 years? That's insane!" Maddie exclaimed, taking Kate by the arm and pulling her to the couch, sitting them both down.

"7 actually. Yeah, it sucks a lot. But enough about me. What's going on in your exciting life?"

"Well lets see…" she said, inconspicuously running her hand over her face.

Kate squealed and reached out, gripping Maddie's hand.

"Madison Queller! You're married?"

"Engaged! The wedding is in a month. Oh my god! This is perfect!"

"What is perfect?" Kate asked.

"I just had a bridesmaid back out. Oh my god, you're perfect! Will you do it? Please" Maddie asked, her hands clutching Kate's.

"I- Maddie, really? Me?"

"Of course! Becks, we were best friends until you up and left this part of town. The only reason I hadn't asked you before hand was because no one knew where you were, and I hadn't talked to you in years. Please?"

"Oh why not" Kate smiled, hugging her former best friend. "Want to go get a drink?"

"Duh!" Maddie chimed, standing up and dragging Kate with her out of the bookshop.

Rick walked around the loft in his pajama bottoms and a shirt, grumbling. He was angry with himself for letting her go, and angry with her for running.

_No_ he thought. _I'm not angry with her for running. It's her natural instinct to run. Well, it was. _

He sighed and collapsed down on the couch, running his hands through his hair. "Damn this. I want her back."

The day passed and Rick wrote, erased, and rewrote. He had different drafts up on his laptop. Some contained happy endings for Nikki and Jameson, some intensely sexual, and some ending on a sadder note. He looked over at the clock and sighed again, dropping his head back on his chair. None of his drafts would work in the next Nikki Heat novel, and he needed to get it done soon. Gina had been breathing down his neck about it.

Later in the afternoon, after Rick finally got a shower and some food, he decided it was best for himself to get out of the loft, at least for a few hours.

He left the loft and drug his feet along the street, hands in his pockets, staring down. He needed a drink, and he needed one quick.

Rick walked into The Old Haunt and sat at the bar, bourbon appearing in front of him in a matter of minutes. He downed it in a few minutes and signaled to the bartender for another.

"You doing alright boss?" the young boy asked.

"I've been better Jimmy. Keeping busy?"

"As always boss. As always." He poured the drink and walked down to the two women who just sat down at the other end of the bar.

"She'll have a Manhattan, and I'll have an American Honey on the rocks."

"Going hard, aren't ya Becks?" Maddie asked, flashing a smile to the cute bartender.

"I'm trying something new. It's what I'm going for now. New. Thanks" she smiled at the bartender, sipping the bourbon.

Maddie began talking about her fiancé and the wedding plans while Kate sat and stared at the wall.

"You okay?" Maddie asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah, I'm good" Kate smiled with a small laugh.

Rick took another sip of the drink and heard a laugh.

Her laugh.

"Now I'm just hearing things… God I miss her" he muttered to himself, sipping the drink, until he heard it again. This time, the laugh was more distinct and recognizable. He looked up and his eyes locked on her sitting at the other end of the bar. "Kate?"

She looked around and ran her hands through her hair as Maddie began talking about the wedding again. She was listening until she saw him, staring at her from the other end of the bar. "Rick?"

"Rick?" Maddie asked. "No, his name's Jason. Wait, what are you looking at?" she asked, turning around to look at Rick. "Mr. Depressed and Handsome at the other end of the bar? You know him?"

"Know him…" Kate mumbled, her hands clenching the bar. "I'm married to him."

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><p>Oooooh. Drama.<p>

Reviews? Pretty please?


	14. Chapter 14

I'm so sorry! I'll try and get better at this updating thing.

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><p>"Married!" Maddie squealed.<p>

"Maddie, don't!" Kate yelled, trying to catch her best friend and she sprinted across the bar and up to Rick.

"Hi there. What's your name?" Maddie asked, holding her hand out to Rick, who was still staring at Kate in absolute shock.

"R-Rick Castle" he stuttered, holding his hand out to shake hers. "Sorry, are you friends with that woman down there? The one with her head buried into her hands?"

"Rick Castle? Like the writer? Hot damn! Beck's really has been holding out. Yeah, I'm her best friend. So, you two are married?"

"Yeah" he nodded. "E-excuse me for a moment." Rick shifted around Maddie and walked toward the other end of the bar, laying his hand on Kate's back.

"Hey" he said quietly, his hands resting on her back as if she were fragile. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here."

Kate turned and looked him, shaking her head. "Don't worry Castle, its fine. I promise, you're good. I… um… I see you've met Maddie?"

"Ah yes. She's in disbelief that we're married. Well, not disbelief. More like pure shock. I guess you didn't tell her?"

"Apparently not" Kate smiled.

Rick's hand still rested on the small of her back, though neither of them felt burdened by it.

Kate leaned back against his hand a little and smiled, before turning back to him.

"I'm sorry" she blurted out quickly, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. "I mean, well… I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have run away from you guys."

"You had every reason to, Kate. You were scared."

"But, I shouldn't have done it. Not like that, at least. Running away from you was hard for me to do. And I didn't understand why, because I felt like I didn't really know you that well, with the accident and all. I was being a coward and I-"

He cut her off with his lips, soft against hers.

She gasped, startled at his movement, but her hand fell against his chest as she worked her lips over his.

Everything around them seemed to vanish, and she felt he was the only thing in the room that mattered.

His hands wrapped securely around her waist as he tugged her off of her stool, pulling her body flush against his.

Moments later, Kate pulled back from the kiss, running her fingertips over his cheek.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" He asked, and she nodded quickly.

They sat silent in the car as Rick drove.

Once Kate explained the situation to Maddie, they left for somewhere private. She knew that they needed to talk about her running away from the family, but she couldn't help but keep her hand on his upper thigh as he drove. All she wanted was to feel his lips on hers again. It felt right.

About fifteen minutes later, Rick parked his car at the small beach near the Hudson.

"Here?" Kate asked, joy and surprise laced through her voice.

"You see that river?"

"Yes, Rick. I can see the giant river. Why?"

"About two months after we started dating, we were having dinner here by the lake. And there was an old man walking around, and you, being incredibly nosy, began talking to him."

"I am not nosy!" she chided, smacking his leg.

"Anyhow" he smiled, continuing the story. "The man told us how he and his wife used to jump into the Hudson once a month, no matter how cold it was. And so, we started doing the same. We've done it every month since that day."

"I jump into that river? It's freezing!"

"That's the best part!" he exclaimed, smiling over at her.

"I married a nine year old on a sugar rush" she murmured.

"What was that?" he asked. He had heard what she said, and had a feeling that, whether she knew it or not, she just had another small memory.

"Nothing" she smiled. "So, how do we do this?"

Rick smiled and pulled his shirt off and started unbuttoning his pants.

"Whoa there big boy! I have to take my clothes off?"

"Well, unless you want to freeze afterward, then I suggest yes. You can leave your underwear on. I do."

Kate looked out the river and contemplated what he was telling her. "Seems pretty crazy, but I'll do it" she smiled, pulling her shirt over her head.

Once they were down to underwear, they climbed out of the car.

Kate walked to the edge of the water and slipped her feet in before yelping loudly, turning around to run.

"Oh hell no! That's cold!" she exclaimed, running her hands over her arms.

"Oh no you don't" Rick growled mischievously.

Before she knew what was happening, his strong arm was wrapped securely around her waist and he was carrying her into the water.

"Rick no!" Kate squealed, kicking her long legs, the feels of her feet smacking against him. "Put me down!"

"Alrighty then!" he smiled, knee deep into the water.

Rick wrapped his other arm around her and jumped into the cold water, a shiver running down his spine.

"Damn it's cold!" he yelled as she spat water out of her mouth.

"You ass!" she giggled.

Once again, Rick smiled and grabbed her from around the waist, lifting her out of the water like she weighed nothing. He carried her back to the car and grabbed two towels from the back, wrapping one securely around her before fixing his own.

"Ooh, you're going to pay for that" she stuttered, unable to speak straight from the shivering.

"Oh am I?" he asked, moving closer to her.

"Yeah" she whispered, her back hitting the car as he crowded against her.

As he moved his face closer to her, she sucked in a breath before crashing her lips up against his.

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><p>Suggestions on how it should continue? I have something set out, but you never know. I get influenced easily.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

I still exist, as does this story! I have a list of reasons why I haven't updated in forever, including many things about school, but I mainly have had no inspiration at all. And I kind of forgot the movie.. Hey, I'm human. It happens. So updated won't be as frequent for this as they will other stories, but i'll try my best.

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><p>They stumbled back into the apartment; lips fused together, hands roaming along each other's body.<p>

Rick spun her hand pushed to back against the door, lips trailing down her neck as he pulled the towel from her body. "Incredible" he whispered, his hands running over her sides as he kissed her passionately.

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><p>Kate's hand linked with his as he helped her out of the car later that night.<p>

"Thank you" she smiled, bringing her other hand up to caress his cheek gently. "Thank you for an… incredible night. Sorry I wouldn't let you past second base though."

Rick chuckled and drew his arm around her waist, trailing his fingertips over the hem of her shirt. "It's alright. I'd rather have a little bit than nothing at all." He leaned in and pressed his lips to her cheek, trailing over to kiss her once on the lips.

She rested her hand on his neck and smiled, her fingertips toying with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"I still love you, you know" he whispered.

She pulled back, her eyes wide in astonishment. "Y-you..."

"I do. Always will love you, you know. Even if y… Your memory never comes back. I'm always going to be in love you with Katherine Beckett."

Tears pooled in her eyes and she fought with all her might to not let them fall. "R-rick…"

"Please, Kate. Just hear me out. Now, I know that you probably want nothing to do with me sometimes. And I know this is hard for you. Everything about your life is different than it used to be. I'm here, and your family… I should have met them. But when I met you Kate, they weren't here anymore. They weren't in your life. But I want you to stay with them, and me. I want you to have whatever you want in your life, because I can't lose you again Kate. I love you more than life itself. So just please, don't push me out forever." He stopped for a moment before collecting her in his arms. "Oh god. Kate, I didn't mean to make you cry. Please don't cry."

"I'm okay Rick… I'm okay." She trembled in his arms, having trouble believing her own words to him. "I don't really know what is going to happen, but I don't want to see you upset over this, okay? I promise that I won't run."

They stayed in each other's arms for longer than expected, before Kate pulled back and ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

"I need to go inside now. Thank you for everything." She smiled and looked up into his caring eyes. "Don't look so sad, okay? I promise." She leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. "I'm not going to run from you." She kissed him again and pulled back. "Night, Rick."

"Night, Kate."

She watched as he drove off before going into her house. Everything seemed so imperfect, but perfect all at the same time. He didn't hate her for running, though she was thoroughly convinced he would want nothing to do with her. She was lucky to have a man like him. If only she knew how it'd happened…

Kate walked into her house and dropped her things on the table by the door. She wanted nothing more than to get out of her wet clothes and curl up in her warm bed, but the sight of her family, and Maddie, huddled in the living room, stopped her suddenly.

"Maddie, Dad, Mary? What are you all doing up? And Maddie, why are you here? What is going on?"

They all stared at her, but the look on her fathers face was the absolute worst. He was staring at her like he was purely disgusted with her. "D-Dad? What's wrong?"

"Katherine Beckett, where have you been?"

"Out. Why do you seem so mad at me?"

"Because you've been out? Were you with him? That… That… Writer?"

"You mean my husband? Yes Dad, I was with him. Why are you treating me like I am 15 again? I didn't do anything wrong. We just went out to talk."

"Talk. Sure" he scoffed.

"Jim… Leave her be." Mary scolded, resting her hand on his shoulder. "She's aloud to live her life."

"She should be here, with us, being a family again. Not with the man that tore her away from us."

"What happened?" Kate yelled. She was frustrated with everyone keeping things from her. She didn't need this sort of confusion… Not when everything was so out of place already. "Just tell me what happened."

"That is beside the point. We needed you here tonight. We tried calling you. Maddie even did."

"Maddie?" Kate asked, looking at her friend.

"Hey, Becks, I'm out of this one. You parent's just called me over. Talk to them."

She turned back to her parents and sighed, leaning against the couch. "Okay. I'm here now. What do you want?"

"You have a visitor" her father commented.

"Visitor? Dad… I'm soaking wet, and it's almost midnight. This couldn't have waited until the morning?"

"No, Katie. I don't think it could have."

With that, a small cough came from the entrance to the kitchen, where none other than Will Sorenson was standing, with a bouquet of roses in his hand.

"Hey Kate."

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><p>Muahaha. I'm evil.<p>

Not to promote myself, even though I am, but I started two other stories as well as the other two I have going, and this one. Too much for my plate, but there were too many ideas floating in my head.

Again, sorry for taking so long to update! I'll try harder.

Review?


	16. Chapter 16

How many of you hate me right now? But hey, on a positive note, i'm not letting myself get up until i write the rest of this story today. So probably two more chapters to come.

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><p>The month passed with a blur. Kate's father signed her back up for law school to try and earn her degree, take on the legacy of her family. The return of Will had affected Kate greatly. Her relationship with Rick had finally started to bloom, and yet Will had shown back up, set on winning her heart back. The last thing she remembered was that they were together, and extremely happy. So, when he showed back up in her life, she felt like things were making sense for once.<p>

The day of Maddie's wedding approached quickly, and because of the wedding, her time with Rick was limited.

As the reception began, Rick sat back and watched all of Kate's past friends wander around, keeping his eyes open for her. He sipped his bourbon, before Will walked up to him.

"How's it going here?"

"Fine" Rick murmured, sipping his drink. "Just, waiting for Kate."

Will took another long sip of his drink and paced around him. "You look a little creepy, sitting over here by yourself."

"You're just loving this, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" Will smirked.

"She left you behind and had this great life without you, and now you get to see her reject all of that."

He chuckled and slipped his hands into his pockets. "I mean, I like it a bit."

Rick smiled and stood up, stepping dangerously close to Will, but still within reach. "You know what I love? She told me everything about you. Like how she would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic that this was all her life was ever going to be."

Will's eyes darkened and he stiffened up. "Everything? Did she tell you she kissed me the other day? Oh wait, she probably stopped telling you things when she forgot who the hell you were."

Rick laughed and rolled his eyes. "You're an ass, but I get it. You love her and you think you're going to get her back. But the same thing will happen like it did before. She'll just outgrow you."

Will stepped closer and smirked. "I think that through when I'm in bed with your wife."

At that point, Rick was done. In one swift movement he brought his fist up and connected it directly with Will's nose. Will fell to the ground, and the wedding party all looked over in shock.

"Castle!" Kate yelled, running over to him. "What the hell!" she exclaimed before running off.

"Kate, wait!"

They both ran out to the courtyard before she snapped at him. "What the hell were you thinking Rick?"

"What was I thinking? I've been trying so hard to keep what we have. To make sure that everything between us is fine. And while I'm out here trying to fix everything you're just throwing yourself at that jackass?"

"Rick, I… That isn't fair."

"You look at him like you used to look at me. You know… maybe I'm just a stranger. We just need to be realistic about this. Your memory isn't going to come back."

"I'm just… tired of disappointing you. I don't want you to be hurt anymore."

"I know, Kate."

"I'm so sorry, Rick." Tears formed in the corner of her eyes. She brought her arms up to cross over herself, shielding herself from the pain she knew was coming.

"I'm just going to apologize to Maddie."

"It's fine, Rick. Disasters have a way of becoming great stories." She sucked in another breath and brought a hand up to wipe the tears that threatened to fall.

He took one last look at her and pushed his hands into his pockets. "How do you look at the girl that you love for the last time?"

With this, the tears fell. "Rick" she called out as he walked away. He turned back and looked at her. Their eyes met and she wiped a tear again. "I hope that one day I can love like you love me."

"You did it once, Kate. You can do it again."

* * *

><p>Rick went back to the loft, sat down at his computer, and began to type. Everything from the day that they met do the day where they're relationship was torn apart. He wrote about their first date, their first kiss, the first time she told him she loved her, they first time they made love. Everything in the 5 years of their lives that they spent together.<p>

The next day, he packed everything that belonged to her up, and drove directly to the lawyer's office. With a heavy sigh and held back anger, he signed the divorce papers and left the room, not looking back.

* * *

><p>Kate clutched the basket in her hands, pulling different fruits and vegetables out from the produce section of the grocery store. Little time had passed since the divorce papers had been signed. After the wedding, she cut all ties off from Will, knowing that it would just bring up old wounds that she did not want to deal with any longer.<p>

She looked over the avocado in her hand when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a friend from when she had been in college walk by. "Molly?"

The girl Molly looked up at Kate, and the color from her face drained. "Hey, Kate. It's been a while."

"Yeah, I was gone" she smiled.

"Look," Molly started. "I wanted to apologize to you. Your dad… he cut off all ties when your step-mom found out. I just want you to know that."

Kate's eyes widened and she froze in shock. "I… Yeah, thank you. Um, you know, I've got to go. See you around sometime."

As Molly nodded and walked away, Kate began to tremble. She dropped the basket and quickly ran out of the store.


	17. Chapter 17

Mary stood in the kitchen, chopping up peppers for their dinner that night. Though in her own little world, she snapped out of it when the front door slammed and her stepdaughter yelled her name.

"In here Katie. Did you get those things from the store?"

"You took him back."

Mary looked up at her and shut her eyes tightly for a moment. "Yes, I took him back."

"Why? What happened? He slept with my friend, and you took him back!"

"You know, Katie. I was all ready to go. I had everything packed and I was done. But I looked around here and I realized what my life would be like without your Dad. And then I wondered… Is it worth it to lose all of the happy memories and leave him?"

Kate bottom lip trembled and she shook her head. "Why didn't any of you tell me? Why did you all hide the reason I left?"

Tears began to fall down Mary's face though she wiped them quickly. "We were a family again, Kate. We had you back. That's all your father has wanted for such a long time, was to have you back."

"Why did he do it?"

"He never truly told me. He just did it. And I forgave him for it."

Kate pursed her lips and ran a hand through her hair. "I need to… I'll be back" she whispered before running out the door.

* * *

><p>"Gina, that food was incredible. Where did you find that place?" He flashed a smile and walked next to her as they went back toward her apartment.<p>

"Oh, just read about it a month or so ago" she nodded.

Rick laughed. "Well, it was great. Hey, do-" He started until he saw Kate sitting on the stoop across from their door. "Kate, hey. What's wrong, are you okay?"

She looked up and flashed her eyes to Gina, then back to him. "I… I should go" she nodded. Kate stood up quickly and fumbled, trying to establish in her head that she really needed to leave.

"Rick, you two clearly need to talk. I'll call you later" Gina nodded before quickly heading off.

Rick opened his mouth to speak but Gina was gone, so he turned back to Kate. "Are you alright?"

"Did you know?"

He turned his head and looked at her, confused at her question.

"About my Dad, Rick. Did you know why I left?"

"Yeah, Kate. I did. Look, let's go inside and I'll explain it to you, okay?"

She nodded and pulled her arms up to her chest. "Okay" she whispered as she followed him into the loft.

* * *

><p>Cups of coffee in hand, they both sat down on the couch, both sitting a good length away from one another.<p>

"What happened? I want the whole story, Castle. No half-assing it."

"I didn't want to tell you, before. I met you after you left your family, but you told me the whole story right after you told me you loved me."

"When was that?"

"Two weeks into our relationship. We went out for lunch and we were walking through the park and then went to this little café. And I stopped outside and started wondering if people who owned the café's were doing what they wanted to do their entire life. So I was rambling on and on about it and you put you hand over my mouth and turned to me and told me that you loved me. Just like that. It had been two weeks, and you were so sure of it. That day at lunch, I asked why you had left. I loved you too, but I didn't want to scare you. And I needed to know why you had taken yourself out of the family. Not as a reassurance or anything, but… I felt like I needed to know. So you told me. You gave me the entire story in a little café right on 79th and Madison. You told me about how your Dad slept with one of the girls from the group of people that you hung out with, and when your Mom found out, Jim ended it. But Mary never left. She stayed with your Dad, and you never fully understood that. So you packed up and left and never looked back on any of it. That's when you joined the academy, got a little apartment in Tribeca, and then you met me."

Kate sipped her coffee and looked up at him. "I told you all of it. Just like that?"

"Just like that."

* * *

><p>Look at that guys! Two updates in a weekend. Probably two-three chapters left in this one.<p> 


	18. Chapter 18

A few cups of coffee later, Kate still sat on his couch in the same position she was in before, but now with a blanket thrown over her lap. "I don't think that I can afford to lose them right now, Rick."

"So don't."

A while later it was finally time for Kate to go. The hours they had spent together were, in her mind, perfect. She needed that sense of comfort, and he was still the only person that could provide her with that.

"Thank you" she whispered, pressing her lips to his cheek. "I needed that."

"Anytime, Kate. Hey, even if you just want to talk, you call me up, alright?"

Kate smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Bye, Rick."

She hated law school. To her, nothing about law school felt like it was right for her. And after her conversation with Rick about her life before the accident, Kate Beckett felt like that was where she belonged. She needed the precinct. She needed to bring justice for those who have lost their voice. She didn't need to be a lawyer. She needed to be a detective.

"Dad, I'm moving back into the city."

Jim Beckett looked up from his paper, his eyes wide with fear, his hands trembling. "I can't lose you again Katie." He dropped everything and stood up, moving quickly toward his daughter. "Just, tell me what I can do so I don't lose you."

"You won't lose me Dad. This is just something I need to do. I need to find myself. Not who everyone else wants me to be. Just, myself."

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. "I love you, Katie. I always have, and I'll never stop."

She quickly hugged him back. "I love you too, Dad."

"Captain, I want to come back." Kate held her jacket in her trembling hands, though on her face she looked unfazed by her fear.

Gates pulled her glasses off of her face and looked up at Kate. "Detective, I would be honored, but what makes you think that you are ready for this?"

"I just know, Sir. I tried to go back to law school but it just… wasn't for me. Just walking back into this precinct makes me feel like I belong. I can't not work here, Captain. Look, I took the test and passed with flying colors. And the boys took me down to the range." She fumbled through her bag and pulled out the shooting range target, passing it over into Gate's open hand.

"Very impressive" Gates nodded, setting her glasses back on to look over everything Kate had handed her. "You're on probation, Detective. You hear me? I don't want you out in the field until you get everything back together. Or, your memory comes back. How is that going, by the way?"

"Good, Sir. I feel a lot better after the accident. Still no memory, but bits and pieces have come back. Things that I needed to remember. Everyone's been helping me too. Telling stories and things. Hopefully soon it will be back."

Gates smiled and nodded at her. "You can return in two weeks. And, tell that writer of yours he's welcome back too. Don't tell him this, but… sometimes I miss his annoying antics around here."

Kate smiled and ran a hand through her hair. "Will do, Sir, if I see him. Thank you very much."

His eyes shut for a moment as he leaned against the wall of the elevator. He wouldn't see any of them for two months. One stupid phone call, and Paula and Gina had him going on a three-week book tour throughout Europe. The elevator doors opened up on the homicide floor and Rick walked out, two boxes of donuts and pastries in his arms.

"Hey, look who it is!" Ryan called out, looking up from his desk.

"Hey bro. Long time no see" Espo smiled, pushing away from his desk to go to Castle. "And I'll take these." He pulled the two boxes from Castle's arms and escaped quickly to the break room to tear into the boxes with Karpowski.

Rick grabbed a seat next to Ryan's desk and started talking about recent cases and why he was there. Into their conversation, he got sidetracked as he heard the familiar sound of high-heeled boots clicking across the precinct floor. "Wh-" he questioned as he looked up. His eyes locked onto Kate Beckett as she strutted across the precinct floor, coming from the upstairs gym and going to her desk, not seeing Rick.

"Kate?"

She spun at the sound of her name, her eyes falling to him. "Rick? W-what are you doing here?"

"I brought food for the boys and… Wait, what are you doing here in the city? I thought that you were back at your parents?"

"Um… no" she mumbled, running a hand through her hair. "I moved back into the city about two months ago."

"Oh, really?" Castle smiled at her. "That's amazing, Kate. I'm glad you're back. I had just come by to drop some food off for the boys, you know, see how they're doing. I usually stop by every once and a while. I… um… I actually came buy to say goodbye for a little."

Kate's eyes widened and hurt flashed through them. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah. Paula and Gina want me on a book tour through Western Europe for the next three weeks. London, Paris, and Berlin. One week in each, a book signing each day. So, what are you doing here?"

She ran a hand through her hair and looked down. "Actually, I came and asked for my job back."

"You did? Kate, what happened to law school?"

"I dropped out. Look, Rick, do you want to go get a cup of coffee or lunch?"

"Definitely. Now, or…?

Kate looked over to at the break room; watching and laughing some as the boys and her other friends devoured the things Castle brought them. "Soon, okay? I want to see everyone first."

They joined their friends in the break room for donuts, coffee, and laughs. Though Kate's memory had not returned, she was finally beginning to feel a sense of normalcy being with her friends, especially with no one treating her like a sick person.

When the boys had to get back to work, Kate and Castle left to go to Remy's.

"So, what made you decide to come home?"

Kate smiled and took a small sip of her strawberry milkshake. "Home. It's funny. You know, part of me feels like I don't have a home anymore." There was a pause, before she started up again. "I missed you. A lot. You know, I don't remember much of anything still, but all of those sleepless nights lying in a bed at my parent's house just made me miss you. And I don't know why, because I really don't remember our relationship. So, I was hoping that you could… I don't know. I moved back here two months ago to start over, but you were still missing. I can't count the amount of times I picked up the phone and dialed your number, but I just couldn't hit send."

"Kate."

"No, listen Castle. I don't know why I miss you so much, but I do. So, please, help me. Either help me remember, or help me forget. Because, I can't lose another night of sleep over this."

Tears had begun to form in her eyes. Kate dropped her head quickly to shield them, bringing a hand up to wipe her eyes.

"Kate, look at me." Castle reached his hand out and took hers into his hand. "Kate, come on."

She sucked in a deep breath and looked up at him.

"I want to help you remember. You deserve to know everything that happened between us. The good and the bad, but it is mostly good. I'm going to do everything I can to help you remember. I promise. But, Kate, honey… You should come with me."

"Come with you?"

"To Europe."

* * *

><p>I can't apologize enough for this taking so long. I'm sorry. But alas, summer has begun, and so will the updates.<p> 


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